One more to go!!!
"Did you know a Hutt can beg? It sounds like a retarded mynock."
Didn't seem like it to me. As for fitting the tone of the movies and such, well that's for movies to do. You can do what you like with the tone, in my opinion.
I meant more like, its not too cheesy hehe
Yeah, I sort of think so. I'm not offended or anything, but I don't know if it fits in the whole theme/tone of Star Wars. You need a better word - "wounded" "suffering" "confused" - idk.